Abstract expressionism is an American art movement, developed in New York in the 1940s. Like the surrealism movement in Europe, abstract expressionism emphasizes spontaneity, an attempt at visceral expression of the subconscious.
What I like about this painting is that it is dominated by chaos. The colors clash, at times violent, at times neutral atop each other. The threads mix together, stand apart. Each individual element doesn’t try too hard to be part of a cohesive. What greater emotion or understanding of our world does the painting provoke? It provokes: disorientation, perhaps confusion. Depending on your tolerance for messiness: excitement, nausea.
Then you look at it as a whole. Far from beautiful, the painting is still meaningful. There is a difference that comes out of every before and after. I feel slightly shifted, a little bit altered, after viewing the painting. Because, despite its haphazardness, there *is* an underlying truth or meaning, tucked in there subconsciously. You keep looking and patterns emerge – the swirling eddies of black in the background, white wisps shaped like shrimp antennae, is that a red crab? It’s an exercise of imagination. I’ve freed my mind from my immediate surroundings. Within the liminal space of imagination, the chaos distills into meaning.
Or not. That’s my interpretation; there are many equally valid interpretations. Therein lies the beauty. Discussion, critique.
In response to Pollock’s art, critics were divided. Some loved the immediate quality of creation, others panned the nonsensical, seemingly random composition.
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Life has fashioned itself into a Pollock painting ever since I returned to the US in March. It’s been streaked with random, unconnected events and plans. Some of it comes from the inherent uncertainty of coronavirus outside, some of it is of my own design.There are so many things I want to learn: cooking, driving, dancing, drums, math, French, patience, empathy. In each moment that I dedicate to them, I feel content, like I am progressing. When I pause to reflect on the larger painting of my life in this moment, I struggle to find a common theme.
There’s a point to be made about the importance of flexibility. For one, it leads to less-stressful living. It leads to a more accepting attitude towards any situation, including a chaotic one. While it’s not necessary (or even wise) to seek out chaos, being open to the possibility can make life fun and spontaneous. This year I’ve become more accustomed to “going with the flow” — doing things not out of obligation but because they bring joy or meaning to my life.
Still, as much as I love living life on whims, I don’t want to lose sight of time. College begins in three months, bringing with it structure, rigor, and new faces. I will be asked by classmates or teachers to summarize my summer, to verbalize what I’ve made out of time.
I want to stop thinking so much about college. That’s in the future. In the present, I’m enjoying what’s likely to be my last summer at home, spending time with family, working on hobbies. Yet, paradoxically, the only way for me to stop thinking about something is to think it through completely. Usually this happens through writing. I can begin to process my time home into words. I can also go a step further and verbally commit to some goals.
I have many, many goals. Too many, I know. It’s likely I won’t accomplish them all. I don’t expect to accomplish everything, and won’t be disappointed if that happens, because I’ll have something to show for attempting them. And, since I’ve been pursuing activities that bring joy or a sense of richness to my life, the act of attempting will itself be an enjoyable thing.
~a few~ GOALS
Health & Fitness:
- Dance in some form everyday, stretch everyday
- Turn in video homework for Chinese dance class
- Branch out into new styles: hip hop, lyrical, jazz, modern
- No electronics after 9PM
- Record food intake every night before bed, reflect if nutritionally it was a good or bad day
Personal Growth:
- Educate myself on American history, with an emphasis on minority history
- Practice patience with my family.
- Journal 3-times a week, or more
Skill-building:
- Practice drums daily for 45 minutes. Emphasis on daily!
- Cook dinner on weekends.
- Try a new baking recipe every week.
- Learn 50 new French phrases daily, one module in grammar workbook
Writing:
- Write a short story for the July 15th Nimrod New Fiction Writer’s Contest
- Post a blog every Sunday
I anticipate that these goals will shift as the days pass. I might let go of some if I find that I’m introducing too much structure. I might add things as I discover more endeavors that are worth pursuing. Either way, I’ll report back sometime before school starts. Half the fun of setting goals is the reflection that comes with meeting or not meeting them.
These goals apply Monday through Friday. I want weekends to do whatever. Read random magazines, books, watch TV, movies, play board games, to name a few things.