On August 7th, President Eisgruber informed the student body that first-years and juniors would no longer be allowed to live on campus in the fall. Instead, fall semester will be entirely virtual. This news set off a whirlwind of reactions: disbelief, loss, disappointment, eventually, acceptance.
I was anticipating leaving home. I imagine most students feel the same way. I had signed up for a move-in time, had drafted a packing list, and was haphazardly and excitedly imagining life in my new single space. The news flash freezed my planning. Since August 7th, these nascent thoughts and ideas have ceased.
The most difficult fact to swallow is not seeing my peers for an indefinite period of time. I’ve been looking forward to reuniting with my Bridge Year cohort, meeting the people in my orientation groups, and finding ways to create and deepen relationships despite the constrained social conditions. I’ve been home for five months and will (likely) be home for twelve months longer. Sometimes I wonder what effect this self-isolation has had on my social skills and motivation for social situations.
Once I’ve listed out my disappointments as best I can, I tried to turn to the positives. In some instances this mental exercise feels forced, but surprisingly I’ve found quite a few silver linings. I owe it to my home situation. I have parents who are absolutely supportive of my education. Although I might explore renting an apartment for the spring semester, for the coming fall semester, my home environment will do just fine. It’s not perfect — I’m afraid that my dad’s habit of hovering over my work and always checking about grades will carry over from high school — but considering the crisis we are in, it is bearable.
More than bearable, once I consider the personal enrichment and growth that can come from staying home. Since Bridge Year, I’ve noticed that I take initiative in helping out around the house, which has conferred a stronger sense of stewardship and belonging. This translated into effort on my part to resolve conflicts through dialogue. Through high school, I almost always came home tired. When I arrived home, I was focused on optimizing my time towards schoolwork and activities to “get ahead”. I almost never had the energy or patience to express my concerns with my parents, or when I did, I was snappy and combative. I’ve been more relaxed, enjoying more family time, and have an unexpected opportunity to continue this growth. I’m still far from perfect, or even good, at bringing up and resolving personal issues peacefully and respectfully, but now I have more chances to improve in the relatively nurturing space at home.
In terms of personal fulfillment, many activities I was looking forward to on campus are available to me at home. I have to modify my expectations and do more leg-work organizing for myself, but they are still available to me. I’m looking forward to more virtual dance classes (through Princeton’s co-curricular offerings and also with Xuejuan Dance Ensemble). I’m looking forward to biking around local trails with my little sister. Home life could actually offer more options for leisure than a socially-distant campus. I can continue to cook and bake, start raising chickens in the winter, and start gardening with my mom come spring.
And of course, I’m staying safe. That might be the biggest advantage conferred by staying home. I am young and physically active, and so often take good health for granted. Even now, I don’t think about the possibility of contracting COVID-19. I think even less about the possibility of having serious health consequences. I’m so used to being healthy. Yet the science shows that young people do get infected, and that there might be long-term lung damage regardless of age. There have been anecdotes of lingering taste and smell loss. I don’t want to freak out about it, but I do think I can take it as another one of many silver linings of staying home.
That said, I look forward to the day that we can have the “normal” college experience, go on-campus, go out with friends, have small-group discussions and large-group lectures in-person. Until the situation allows it, I suppose I can look forward to more time at home too.